im wrong

yes. i admit. i am wrong for screaming at you.

but, did u realise what have u done until it triggers me to raise my voice? did u know how long i have been burying it until i couldnt take it anymore?

mom asked me to apologise. so dont ever say i am not taught about manners. dont ever say 我没家教. mom asked me to text u to see how u r. asked me to text u ask u to come home. but i guess you'd rather be anywhere else other than this house cos u never felt happy n safe in this house anyways, am i correct?

i am not being ungrateful. hv i been ungrateful? only until recently i have been losing my temper. other than that, have i? i was wrong for screaming but the points that i screamed, am i wrong?

even my own friends noticed my temper has gone from bad to worst.

why do u need to over exaggerate everything? before u go to the extreme, have u ever thought how would my mom feel? ah ma fainted, yes. everyone is worried. but why the whole world needs to know and point fingers at my mom? when fingers are pointed at my mom, what were you doing? shouldnt u as a sister protect her?

the dog will always be an issue that none of us can solve. believe me, i have been thinking of ways to solve it but there is really no way out. please understand, kin boy has been my mom's companion for so many years ever since my dad left her. would u rather to see my mom protecting kin boy and baby or protecting the man that has been hurting her?

ah ma has been complaining stuffs to u. what makes u think that she havent been complaining to me? kin boy bite her. yes. my heart aches too. would u defend yourself if ahma threw the stool at you? when i was in secondary school, ahma threw the hairdryer at my head and uses the umbrella to hit me. even pulled my hair in public at the mamak... i became even more rebelious. its the same thing. dogs cannot understand our language. but they act the same. the way ahma is treating kin boy, kin boy is traumatised... just like u, traumatised by the major break in...

can u try to understand how important are the dogs to my mom?

recently i've been reading so many article about animal abuse. my heartaches. bcos seeing them being abuse reminds me of ahma throwing the stool at kinboy. but he is important to my mom... i dont know what to do... what can i do? other than just locking myself in my room, whatelse can i do?

whenever i post kinboy's pictures in facebook, the 1st thing that ppl would comment is, why am i so heartless tied up the dog? no freedom...

on the other hand, u asked me to get rid of the dogs bcos ahma is too tired to handle them. ahma came to me crying with her wounded hand. mommy came to me asking for solution...

how?

did u realised ever since the break-in in 2009, u have changed? u shopped more. u keep using ahma as your excuses or reasons for everything. u go out more as tho u couldnt stay home for long. u dressed flashy as tho u r rich. dressing is just a shell, but behind that shell. who r u?

u knew very well, at this point of time, the only person who can handle ahma is u. but u hv to leave. u always say we dont care about ahma. what about u?

the recent break-in, u just decided to pack and leave. what makes u think all of us not afraid? why run? why cant think of a way to solve the issue? u rather go out and about asking for a place to stay when u have a place to go back too.

when u said if usj19 is available to stay, u hv moved long ago. cos u r not happy here. how do u think i would feel? paying the loan every month for all these? for all the arguments. for seeing ahma treating her own daughter like this. do u know what mom asked me? she asked me if she is being picked up by the roadside and she is not ahma's daughter.

instead of telling ahma negative stuffs, why cant u paint beautiful thoughts in her mind instead? u know very well ahma only listens to u now. why cant try to bring my mom and ur mom to good terms instead. the house is not perfect now. i know. we all are not rich. thats why we are taking a step at a time to make the house better, no?

i have so many whys and hows that i dont know how to answer. i only can wait and answer it myself one by one. even if there is no answer, i will try to make that question disappear...

please bear in mind, i am not pointing fingers here. i am just saying that we all have our dissatisfactions and insecurities about this house. we should live with it. deal with it. not run away.

Subang Empire Exploded!

waking up looking in fb to find out that empire had an explosion was quite shocking. but i couldnt read up more cos i had to rush to the office.

knowing there was an explosion in subang was quite a bizzare thing to me. O.O
and i only been there twice. :(
and. yes! it is very new only. empire has been around for only more than 1 year. thats it!

as far as i can remember, i have not slept yet during the explosion. was watching tvb drama. and no, i do not have my earphones on. and as the report says, the explosion can be heard as far as bangsar.

i think im deaf...

anyhow, the explosion happened at approx 3:40am. thank god it happened at that time cos there is not much people at that point of time.

4 people injured, which consists of 2 guards and a couple.

from the articles i have been reading around, the explosion was due to gas piping leakage. the impact was so great that even wisma consplant II was affected as well. but then i read hannahyeah's tweet saying that the cause is not confirmed yet.

we shall wait.

wont blog much about it alre. just click on the links below for clearer insight of the incident.

http://blog.galvintan.com/explosion-at-empire-shopping-gallery/
http://edwintcg.com/blog/2011/09/subang-empire-shopping-mall-explosion-28092011/
http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=%2F2011%2F9%2F28%2Fnation%2F20110928082918&sec=nation#.ToK5V7-ppiw.facebook
http://www.asiaone.com/News/AsiaOne%2BNews/Malaysia/Story/A1Story20110928-301906.html
http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/malaysia/article/explosion-rips-through-empire-gallery-four-hurt/
http://beliamuda.com/2011/09/gambar-sekitar-letupan-empire-shopping-gallery/
http://ondscene.my/kebakaran/letupan-di-empire-shopping-gallery

A Letter from a Shelter Manager - anonymous in North Carolina

Found this article in Facebook and thought it would be nice to share it out... enjoy... :)

I think our society needs a huge "Wake-up" call. As a shelter manager, I am going to share a little insight with you all...a view from the inside if you will. 

First off, all of you breeders/sellers should be made to work in the "back" of an animal shelter for just one day. Maybe if you saw the life drain from a few sad, lost, confused eyes, you would change your mind about breeding and selling to people you don't even know. 

That puppy you just sold will most likely end up in my shelter when it's not a cute little puppy anymore. So how would you feel if you knew that there's about a 90% chance that dog will never walk out of the shelter it is going to be dumped at? Purebred or not! About 50% of all of the dogs that are "owner surrenders" or "strays", that come into my shelter are purebred dogs.
The most common excuses I hear are; "We are moving and we can't take our dog (or cat)." Really? Where are you moving too that doesn't allow pets? Or they say "The dog got bigger than we thought it would". How big did you think a German Shepherd would get? "We don't have time for her". Really? I work a 10-12 hour day and still have time for my 6 dogs! "She's tearing up our yard". How about making her a part of your family? They always tell me "We just don't want to have to stress about finding a place for her we know she'll get adopted, she's a good dog". 

Odds are your pet won't get adopted & how stressful do you think being in a shelter is? Well, let me tell you, your pet has 72 hours to find a new family from the moment you drop it off. Sometimes a little longer if the shelter isn't full and your dog manages to stay completely healthy. If it sniffles, it dies. Your pet will be confined to a small run/kennel in a room with about 25 other barking or crying animals. It will have to relieve itself where it eats and sleeps. It will be depressed and it will cry constantly for the family that abandoned it. If your pet is lucky, I will have enough volunteers in that day to take him/her for a walk. If I don't, your pet won't get any attention besides having a bowl of food slid under the kennel door and the waste sprayed out of its pen with a high-powered hose. If your dog is big, black or any of the "Bully" breeds (pit bull, rottie, mastiff, etc) it was pretty much dead when you walked it through the front door. 

Those dogs just don't get adopted. It doesn't matter how 'sweet' or 'well behaved' they are.
If your dog doesn't get adopted within its 72 hours and the shelter is full, it will be destroyed. If the shelter isn't full and your dog is good enough, and of a desirable enough breed it may get a stay of execution, but not for long . Most dogs get very kennel protective after about a week and are destroyed for showing aggression. Even the sweetest dogs will turn in this environment. If your pet makes it over all of those hurdles chances are it will get kennel cough or an upper respiratory infection and will be destroyed because shelters just don't have the funds to pay for even a $100 treatment. 

Here's a little euthanasia 101 for those of you that have never witnessed a perfectly healthy, scared animal being "put-down". 

First, your pet will be taken from its kennel on a leash. They always look like they think they are going for a walk happy, wagging their tails. Until they get to "The Room", every one of them freaks out and puts on the brakes when we get to the door. It must smell like death or they can feel the sad souls that are left in there, it's strange, but it happens with every one of them. Your dog or cat will be restrained, held down by 1 or 2 vet techs depending on the size and how freaked out they are. Then a euthanasia tech or a vet will start the process. They will find a vein in the front leg and inject a lethal dose of the "pink stuff". Hopefully your pet doesn't panic from being restrained and jerk. I've seen the needles tear out of a leg and been covered with the resulting blood and been deafened by the yelps and screams. They all don't just "go to sleep", sometimes they spasm for a while, gasp for air and defecate on themselves. 

When it all ends, your pets corpse will be stacked like firewood in a large freezer in the back with all of the other animals that were killed waiting to be picked up like garbage. What happens next? Cremated? Taken to the dump? Rendered into pet food? You'll never know and it probably won't even cross your mind. It was just an animal and you can always buy another one, right? 

I hope that those of you that have read this are bawling your eyes out and can't get the pictures out of your head I deal with everyday on the way home from work. 

I hate my job, I hate that it exists & I hate that it will always be there unless you people make some changes and realize that the lives you are affecting go much farther than the pets you dump at a shelter. 

Between 9 and 11 MILLION animals die every year in shelters and only you can stop it. I do my best to save every life I can but rescues are always full, and there are more animals coming in everyday than there are homes. 

My point to all of this DON'T BREED OR BUY WHILE SHELTER PETS DIE! 

Hate me if you want to. The truth hurts and reality is what it is. I just hope I maybe changed one persons mind about breeding their dog, taking their loving pet to a shelter, or buying a dog. I hope that someone will walk into my shelter and say "I saw this and it made me want to adopt". THAT WOULD MAKE IT WORTH IT. 

done reading? now, please adopt instead. yes. puppies are cute. but doggies in shelter needs love too. :)

Auto Fiesta 2011

went for dinner with jessi in ss15 and decided to visit the boys at the auto fiesta 2011, which was in inti college subang ss15. jessi agreed to go along.

while i was rounding for a car park, vp suddenly appeared at the window of the passenger seat, causing jessi got a heart attack. lol...

after i got a spot to park my car, i went straight to inti college. they were having this model search thing at the stage area.

joe's car - interior... he got the 1st runner up for interior modification.
and vp got prize for facebook competition.

one of the cars there. specially taken for bie~

jim's car. one of TI's flame thrower.

exotic cars baybeh~

*hearts hearts*

*melts*

its been a while since i last posted my car picture here eh? hehe...

lil vava is done with her mods. not adding anything anymore. :)

Yuan Garden Dim Sum House, SS2 PJ

Restoran 2008 Snow Beer, Cheras

3rd case

i was sleeping nicely resting as i was on MC that morning. my mom's car was sent to the workshop so she took my car to work.

then i heard a very loud "thump!" and it woke me up. i saw a crack at the ceiling above my door. i saw a hand pushing through the crack as tho someone wanted to peep through the crack.

i stunned...

it took me few minutes to figure what just happened and gather myself up.

by the time i got up, the thief had already run off.

i opened the door and as i entered the master bedroom, i was welcomed with a mess resulting from being ransacked.

my heart dropped. my head went blank.

and then i went downstairs. all clear. i went and open the main door which i dont know why. i think my head was really blanked.

i went upstairs and took my phone. called my aunt and she asked me to call my 3rd uncle, who is staying few houses away.

3rd uncle came,  4th aunt came and my grandma came home at the same time. with my whole body shaking from the fright, i only manage to open the wooden door and the grill. as i reached to the main gate, i was shaking until i cant find the key. "i cant find the key!!!" then 4th aunt asked my grandma to use her key to open the gate instead.

i was sitting down trying to stop myself from shaking. while they check the whole place. grandma hugged and rubbed my back to comfort me.

1st uncle came later on, then mom finally reached home.

then i went to my room, already half calmed and called the subang police station.

the police patrol car arrived within 15 minutes. after going through the house, they went off.

after getting the total damage from mom and aunt, i went to the police station to lodge a report. 3rd report...

after all the ordeal, had my fair bit of screaming orchestra as well as a lil family drama in the evening.

what we think is this :-
have been monitored for a very long time and he knew my grandma always goes out at that particular time. my car wasnt home so he thought no one was home.
came in through the roof, did his party in the master bedroom. my door was locked cos i was still sleeping.
he went above the ceiling, trying to break the ceiling in my room to have another round of party in my room, but found me in the room.
then he ran away...

this is the 3rd break in now. and we are out of money to do more preventive measures. sure, front and back door is secured and we have dogs too. but, what about from the roof? anyway to prevent? need money right? anyone can donate? i think i need to start my misheru's funding for home security association.

sighs...

First break-in
Second break-in

shit happens...

... continuously that is. 

so, if u r my close friend, u shud know that my house reno has been completed and i have moved in for quite some time now. and guess what? shitssssssss still happens. 

my room is still in a mess. the only comfort i can find is my bed. 

whenever there is heavy rain, the wall n window in the living room leaks. 

the fucking contractor didnt connect our water piping to the water tank, which we bought a huge one. so there was once when the water supply was cut off due to some ass reason indah water gave. we thought we got back up, turns out, he didnt even connect the piping to the tank. causing us to stink 1 whole bloody night. 

grandma hates the dogs.

sadly, grandma hates my mom. 

and whatever i do that doesnt follow her way, she will say my mom asked me to do so. 

example :-

if i said i dont wanna eat at home, she will say "your mom ask u not to eat at home rite?"
if i delayed giving her the monthly allowance, she will say "your mom ask u not to give me rite?"
if i cook instant noodle, she will say "ya la. u rather eat your mom's instant noodle"

and the list goes on. 

grandma keep saying that it is my mom's stuffs occupied the whole house. sighs... dunno who the fuck pumping such rubbish into my grandma's mind. oh... and the latest accusation, "lan si la. i eat until so old still need to wipe your dog's shit n urine. you got face la u. everybody say why i so sohai help u wipe" 

and mind u, none of us asked her to wipe, its her and her clean freak nature she cannot tahan oni go wipe. 

you know what saddened me the most? whenever i post up picts of the dogs in fb, ppl say we are heartless that we tied the dog up, no freedom for the dog. n what pisses me off is you hv no fucking idea how much we need to go through to keep the dogs alive. 

and the latest shit? 

my mom's car windscreen shattered. 

talk about feng shui... ptui~!

to be continue... 

Quotes

how often do u come across a quote and it makes u feel like u can relate and makes u feel better?

i have... a lot. and most of them are from tumblr. particularly, this one.

i think last week, i started using "喜欢一个人不代表一定要拥有他..." in my msn/fb/fridae.

dun underestimate this banana ok? i know how to recognise SOME chinese words wan. all thanks to google translate. :P

it means "liking a person doesnt mean that you have to own that person".

there are so many meanings behind all these quotes. and the one i mentioned above could be :-

u like that person, but that person dont like u?
u dont like that person but that person likes u and u r trying to send that msg to her/him?
u like that person and the person likes u but due to some reasons u cannot be with that person?

and the list goes on... depends how u wanna apply.

and what triggers me to say so?

i feel that, i'm already used to being single. being alone. so used to it till even if i like someone, i am not comfortable being attached.

i dont know. maybe im weird. and i decided to be single still. perhaps until there is someone who manage to change that. so far, no one is able to.

well, i do want to have a partner. not to say i dont. just that, so far no one is able to give me that sense of comfort, security and that person is someone i can fall onto completely. not literally ok? if i really fall physically on that person, i believe that person will be pancake immediately. =.=" fall onto as in i can rely on.

owning that person is not important. seeing that person will be a happier person even without you does.

i guess the keyword here is 'comfort'.

its ok if u dont understand wtf im trying to say, cos i am lost too. hehe... :P

hrmm...

then last thursday, i received a message in fridae.

im glad how my quote helped someone a lil, just like how i felt whenever i see other quotes that i can relate to.

2am

and i am still not asleep. i shall be a zombie later in the office.

y am i not sleeping? well... my fingers itch to type a post. about what? whatever comes to my mind.

i was very very down today. only god knows why. i even teared a little bit in the office but managed to hold back. the girls was planning for dinner and all i wanted was bank errands, lok lok and then home. i was even at the point of feeling to fly kite and just hide at home.

i went home and quickly head to bed and sleep. hoping i can just sleep off the moody me. i told jessi to wake me up when she is on the way to pick me up. and... apparently, i missed 5 of her calls and she even called my house phone. lol...

she needed to use the toilet, so i let her in to use the toilet while me... trying to catch back my soul back into my body. 'jon loi lorrr'...

after further planning, we ended up with steamboat at tasty pot, sunway.

i thank my friends for being... well, my friends. :)

as i said, i was very down. its like, i can burst out crying any minute. but meeting them sort of brightens my day a lil.

ouh. did u realise that smurf is smaller than wat they claimed to be 3 apples tall? i said it is bcos they were measuring using smaller apples instead of fuji apples. and to my surprise, jasmine was telling the same thing to jessi the day before.

and... smurf is funny!!! azrael is FUNNY!!!

ok la. out of topic liao.

friendsssss... u know who u r. thank u. :)

happy malaysia day. its a public holiday. and i gotta work. hee~ treeeeepelllll baybeh~

are you dead yet?

changes

totally not getting used to blogger's new interface shit.

why they always need to change things? 

if it is changed for people's convenience den ya but this is totally... blergh. 

ok, maybe i am just not used to it... yet. 

i shall stop complaining about blogger. its not like they're gonna go back to the old one if i complained. just like how facebook changed certain stuffs den there a page to get 1mil likes so that it wont be implemented but when it hit 1mil likes, they still proceed to remain the new shit. 

oh btw. G+ is the new black. 

von n samson finally left the company! the whole team sure is more quiet now. 2 ppl missing from the usual VIP breakfast. 2 ppl missing from the smoking kaki. and bcos of that, i didnt smoke whole day today. thanks ya~ 

ouh. i have officially entered the 3rd year in this company. *cheers*

i guess the only changes are my batch of colleagues are getting lesser and my table is getting messier. workload is getting more tho, i think. cos it seems like we are having more customers. @.@

===

bleh... i actually had a really bad day today. 

once i woke up, got pissed on the fb chat with the cherating babes cos we were arranging for a date for our dinner. we bought coupons! ya. it suppose to be a happy thing by discussing but end up... bleh. 

then, i got early to office thinking that i am lucky cos i am early but NOOO!!! my pc decides to hang on me and ended up i logged in 3 mins late. 

busy busy busy day. 

thanks to jamie for the surprise. i dont know if it is suppose to be a surprise or not but it did cheer me up a lil today. THANK U! 

then talked to noelle and i was bombarded by questions that i do not wish to answer. 

then realised, i could be a back-up for a person. and boy, the feeling sucks. 

reached home thinking everything will be ok cos its HOME. but NOOO... aunt decided to ber-drama with me when i was watching my tvb drama. lol... funny how it sounded. 

she said me and my mom is neglecting my grandma. i scratched head. what are we suppose to do when grandma is always against my mom, and i am having a terrible heart ache everytime seeing my grandma treat my mom like shit. 

and in case u r lost, yes, my mom is my grandma's daughter. funny hor? where got own mother treat own daughter like shit wan? 

i really dont know how to salvage. 

whenever i talk to grandma, then she will bad mouth my mom... how am i suppose to control? i apologise if i have such low EQ. 

oh. back to the ber-drama part. ya. she decided to have her own episode of "moonlight resonance". all crying saying how can me and my mom treat my grandma like this. every morning my grandma would cry to my aunt when my aunt wakes up. she said i will never know wat my grandma went thru. 

sighs...

can someone drag me to the cliff and push me down? 

sure. whenever there are changes involved it is difficult to get used to it, but we need to adapt. i know it is difficult for my grandma to adapt cos she is old. but cant the young ones try? fine. aunt and mom both not considered young. but still. 

once there was a fb status update by me, my cousin commented... learn how to close ears, close eyes, and there's always a way to solve any problem.

i wish it was that simple.

im really tired. 

now, seriously. can someone push me down from the cliff? anyone at all? 

A visit from SG

it was a pretty rushy trip for noelle and ashley, and the reason they're in kl is that they need to meet their client for meeting/training.

they arrived on thursday morning and then their client met them at kl central.

their meeting was delayed... =.="

by 1 hour plus... =.="""

by the time they're done, it was already 8pm. and their client is nice enough to send them to the hotel.

while waiting for them to be done, me and samson went and collect his laundry first around his condo. then we went to enigma to have a jug first while waiting. we booked a few jugs more cos happy hour was ending soon.

after a jug, we went and pick ashley and noelle up from their hotel. brought them to kuchai lama's 100°c. we headed back to enigma and finish up the jugs and samson was having his syok sendiri concert all the way. oh... enigma was not occupied at all! ok la. got a few uncles at the bar talking with the lady boss. and then, its just us. thats why samson can syok sendiri himself. noelle sang a few and sometimes became samson's back up when he cannot sing high pitch parts... =.=" while me and ashley only listen to the songs.

after we're done, we sent samson back and then headed to the hotel they're staying. and that's the end of the nite~

the next morning checked out at 7.30am and they took a cab to kl central and i headed home to rest cos i was on MC. my head was banging like crap...

BlurCo dot com

as you can see, obviously my blog template has been revamped.

that day my butt was itching if i shud get a .com for my blog. i know i know. my blog do not have much traffic, wan a .com for fucks ah? well, better book it 1st rite?

then i was torn between my old name which is LilMsThong or a name that me and my colleagues have used for our guild in Iris, BlurCo.

when they first started blurco, a colleague of mine, Clyde designed the avatar for the guild. which apparently according to samson, that avatar looked like me. cos i am practically blur all the time. =.=" everyone stopped playing already and i didnt manage to screen capture the game.

i was a proud warlock. *grins*

after getting the domain from here for only Rm38/year, melvin, who is the guy i bought it from, 'migrate' my blogspot's domain to bluco.com and also set up my email for me. now u iz can emiao me at michelle@blurco.com... hee~ and then i dengan buay paiseh-nyer requested Clyde's help to design the header for me.

at first when he sent me the completed work, the header was narrow. he said he will amend. but after i meddle with it till 4am, i managed to get it. but then it still cant gave the effect that i wanted. then all thanks to Clyde, he played with the HTML and wallah~ BlurCo's first template is borneddd...!!! ^^V



and now i iz headache-ing with my foodie blog. what name shall i change it? since i am not using lil anymore. so i guess i dun wanna use hungrylildevil anymore. any ideas?