Respect...

typed a long ass post, but decided it was too personal so i ctrl+a and backspaced. 

i just felt im being disrespected. and being ignored the fact that i am being disrespected by a person whom i care most. 

i wanna talk about it, but then again and again im being brushed off until i felt lonely. so, i decided not to talk abt it. and just leave it. 

i bugged. twice. and end up being brushed off and i feel like slitting. 

thats why i decided to leave it. leaving it aside, i wont feel as shitty as feeling lonely. and worst, leads to slitting. 

and by leaving it, somehow i know that at the end, it will not work out. cos it lacks of communication. 

i dont want to be the person who keeps bugging and at the end did not get the result. i am not demanding for a result that i want, i just want a result that both parties agree to. 

at times like this, i wish i am single again. cos my phobia is kicking in, and it is not a pretty sight. 

so many bad experiences that until now i am restricting myself, stopping myself from so many things. bad experiences that made me think of nonsense. bad experiences that causes me needing constant reassurance. which, im not getting any btw.